The online home of Patrick, Laurie, angel Brienna, Peter and Bailey.
As most of you have probably realized, we’ve decided not to send Christmas cards this year … It is such an emotional time for us and while it’s been hard to get in the holiday spirit, it also just didn’t feel right to not include Brienna. So in lieu of sending cards, we decided to create one and post it here for our friends and family. We hope you enjoy the holidays and we’re looking forward to seeing many of you in the coming weeks!
Love,
Patrick and Laurie
… even if you’re not having fun.
It is so hard to believe that six months have passed since Brienna was born. Six months. In many ways, a part of us will forever cling to June 2, 2009. It’s the single most defining day of our lives, and the entire day is constantly replaying in my head. The reality that Brienna is gone forever still stops me in tracks and literally takes my breath away. How can the beautiful baby that we created be gone? How is that we’ll never get to see her smile, or hear her say “Mama” and “Dada”? Some days, I don’t think I can do it. And others, I am able to see the gifts she gave us and am just overwhelmed with gratitude. Every day is shaped by her presence in our hearts … and we know that time will help to heal our pain, but today, the hole in our hearts feels unbearably large.
We love you Brienna Marie … we thank God every day for you, and we miss you more than words can ever say.
Just over five months ago, Brienna was in our arms. I look back on that day, and think about how happy we were to finally meet her and yet how sad we were that we also had to say goodbye. At times, it seems like it’s been forever since we cuddled and rocked her … at other times, I can literally feel her in my arms and it feels like just yesterday that she was here.
Kristen and I ran the Seacoast Half Marathon today in memory of Brienna. It was a perfect fall day, and the course was beautiful. A good portion of it is along the water, which is where I always feel just a little closer to Brienna. She gave me all the inspiration I needed to finish, and I was so proud to be running in memory of my little girl. I know she was with me every step of the way …
I am shocked and touched by how many people expressed interest in the t-shirts we made (the footprints are her actual footprints!) and in coming to NH to cheer us on. We truly have the best family and friends in the world and I am so thankful to them for being there to support us.
I also want to say a huge thank you to Kris … she’s been battling a pretty bad knee injury, yet stuck it out anyway. I’m so proud of her and so happy that we ran the race together. She is a good sister, and a great auntie!
As always, thank you for your love and support. Nothing about Brienna not being here is easy, yet we are so blessed that our family and friends help us remember her and honor her each and every day.
Happy 30th Birthday Pat!!
I truly could not ask for a better partner in life and I feel so blessed to be married to such an incredible guy. I cannot imagine my life without him, and am so thankful that it is his hand I hold on this journey.
It’s been 4 months and two days since Brienna was in our arms. When I think back to that day, some of my favorite memories are of Pat and Brienna together. He was such a natural; gentle, tender and just so enamored with his little girl. Watching him hold her, rock her, bathe her, swaddle her (his swaddling skills were very impressive and far superior to mine!), cuddle her and love her simultaneously broke and melted my heart. Seeing them together quite literally took my breath away …
Happy Birthday Pat … you are a great father, a wonderful husband and my best friend. I love you.
Love,
Laus
Today marks three months since Brienna’s birth … where has the time gone?? We miss Brienna so much, it’s hard to accurately describe the pain in words. I’m learning that there really is no such thing as being healed, or getting better. We won’t move on, rather we’ll learn to incorporate this grief into our lives. And while life swirls on around us, we’re attempting to live in our “new normal”. It’s a work in progress, and some days are better than others. But we try never to forget the number of lives that Brienna has touched, and how grateful we are for the time we did have with her …
I think it’s fitting that this week, we noticed that Brienna’s rose bush is blooming! We had not anticipated seeing any growth this season, but we are … the buds are a beautiful, bright pink and make us smile, because they remind us of her.
Thank you again for all your love and support. We are so fortunate to have the family and friends we do … We love you and miss you, sweet Brienna Marie.
We finally sent out Brienna’s birth announcement … we are so proud of them, and of course her! We continue to miss and love our sweet baby girl more than words can say. She is the best thing that has ever happened to us, and it made us happy to share her beauty with all of you.
Thank you for your continued love and support. We are so grateful to all of you.
Love,
Patrick and Laurie
It’s been a busy few weeks for our little family … we spent 4th of July on the Cape with Pat’s family, and had a great weekend. The weather was beautiful, and we enjoyed some much needed time at the beach with Bailey. Despite our best efforts to get her in the water, she is still petrified! She she never fails to make us smile though, and that is good enough for us.
We also planted a hydrangea tree Brienna’s memory. The tree was a gift from Judi’s coworkers and will no doubt be beautiful …
After another weekend on the Cape to celebrate Aunt Mo being in town, Pat and I headed to Washington DC, while Bailey enjoyed some time with her buddy Maggie at my parents house. Pat was asked to speak at a conference on social media in government, so we decided to take advantage of the great location and I tagged along. We were able to take in all the sights, as well as meet up with one of our friends from PC. It was nice to get away for a few days, but we’re happy to be home.
While Pat was attending the conference, I took advantage of the nice (hot) weather and ran along the Potomac River. It’s a very beautiful trail and I thought of Brienna the entire time … beautiful things tend to remind me of her … also, in the past, I never would have ventured off on my own … but she has taught me that life is short, and to take full advantage of the time we’re given. I am so thankful to her for that gift.
I also visited Arlington National Cemetery, where my maternal great-grandfather is buried. If you’ve been to ANC, you know it’s HUGE. My aunt Patty visited a few months before, so I was very lucky and already had the location of his grave. I had been there once before when I was about 10, but it meant quite a bit more this time around. It is such a remarkable place … there is so much history and I’m proud that “the Colonel” is buried there. My nephew Quinn has quite the namesake! And no, there is no relation to the Quinn’s on Pat’s side of the family – we hope anyway!!
We returned home to celebrate my parent’s 34th wedding anniversary, and will celebrate the Marr’s 33rd anniversary next weekend – quite an accomplishment and we’re very proud of our parents!
We are so thankful to everyone for helping us keep Brienna’s memory alive. She will never be forgotten by us, and it’s comforting that so many others still think of her. It’s hard to believe that almost seven weeks have passed. Not a day goes by that we don’t ache for her. She is such a treasured part of our lives. We are so thankful to have each other, as well as the continued love and prayers of our families and friends … thank you all so much.
We hope to have some new pictures to share soon!!
I’m sitting here in the same spot where I wrote most of my other posts on this blog … Toot was in my belly, constantly kicking away and reminding me that she was safe and cozy. How I miss those little kicks … It is nearly impossible to believe that an entire month has passed since our precious Brienna Marie was born. One month since we held her in our arms, rocked her and kissed her perfect button nose. One month since we smelled her sweet smell and marveled at the fact that we had created this perfect little being.
It has not been an easy month, but we are so blessed to have the support of our families and friends. We have received so many beautiful cards and things to remember Brienna by. My brother and sister-in-law gave us a pink rose bush called “Sweetness” to plant in Brienna’s honor. Jenny wrote this poem for us as well. We are excited for the rose bush to bloom, and know that it will be beautiful, just like Brienna:
Meant to live in heaven, not on earth
She showed us what life is worth.
Blessed your lives for just a while
But never ceased to make you smile.
And though she’s gone far too soon
She’ll live on in all you do.
In love and laughter, in every day
She’ll be revealed in little ways.
So may this rose bloom and grow
Brienna’s spirit, for all to know.We finally had a break in the rain and were able to plant the rose bush this weekend. My friend Sarah had given us a beautiful garden stone as well, and we created a little space in our backyard that is now Brienna’s garden:
The garden stone contains the last verse of the poem on Brienna’s prayer card. Sarah had sent me this poem earlier in our pregnancy, and we fell in love with it. The bottom of the stone is inscribed with, “Always Remembered, Brienna Marie”.
While time has passed, the ache we feel for Brienna has not lessened. The uncertainty and worry we felt during our pregnancy pales in comparison to the grief we now feel. We’d give anything to turn the clock back and hold our little girl in our arms again. We know that is sadly not possible, and take comfort in the fact that Brienna is now safe in God’s arms. We are so proud of Brienna and are inspired by the number of lives she has touched. She was truly the greatest gift we have ever received and we are honored to be her parents.
Thank you again for your continued support, encouragement and love. We are so thankful to each and every one of you. We’ll leave you with one of our favorite pictures of Brienna’s feet. Her second and third toes are webbed, just like her daddy’s and it makes us smile every time we see them. We love and miss our daughter more than words can say.
Love,
Laurie and Patrick
A Mass of the Angels will be held on Saturday, June 6th at 10:00 AM at St. Gerard Majella Church, 1860 Washington Street, Canton, MA.
Both the Worcester Telegram and Gazette and the Boston Globe have additional information.
Our precious daughter, Brienna Marie Marr, was born into Heaven last night June 2, 2009 at 8:50 PM. She was quite simply, the most beautiful baby we have ever laid eyes on. There are no words to describe how deeply she is loved and how much she is already missed. Her time with us was truly a gift that we will cherish forever. Her name is Celtic and means “strong, she ascends”. There is no better name than that for our amazing baby girl.
We thank you as always for your love and support. It means the world to us. Brienna only knew love, and for that, we’re very grateful.
Love,
Patrick, Laurie and Brienna
UPDATE:
We cannot thank you enough for all the calls, text messages, emails and comments on the blog. We feel so blessed to have the unyielding love and support of our friends and families …
We were very lucky yesterday to have Sharon (from NILMDTS) photograph our beautiful daughter just moments after her birth. Sharon is an amazing person and we continue to be awed by her compassion and generosity.
There will be more pictures to come, but we wanted to share one with you now. Brienna was truly the most perfect baby. We will write more about our experience meeting her, but felt everyone should get to see how cute she really is!
(You can see some of our maternity pictures here.)
