Author: laus

Peter Joseph Marr

The munchkin has finally arrived!  Our son, Peter Joseph, was born last night April 26, 2011 at 8:38 PM.  He is 20 1/2 inches long and shocked us all (especially me!) by weighing 9 lbs 14 oz!!

Peter Joseph

Family Photo

The munchkin is named after his great-grandfathers; Pat’s grandfather, Peter Marr and my grandfather, Joseph Conroy.  We think it’s a good, strong name and hope he likes it as much as we do!  Thank you all for your continued thoughts, prayers and well wishes!  We are smitten with our little boy and will post more pictures (as well as his birth story) soon!

Has Anyone Seen the Stork??

We haven’t and are beginning to think it’s lost!  The munchkin is apparently quite content in his/her current home and is reminding me an awful lot of his/her older sister.  I can remember waiting for Toot and thinking that she was definitely our child – stubborn, and late for everything. Apparently, it runs in the family!  We’re only four days past due and we’re being as patient as we can be, but are definitely getting antsy to meet this baby! So if you see the stork, send it our way!

Happy Easter!

Showered with Love

Thank you all for the munchkin’s baby shower!! Despite my initial reservations about having a shower, I am glad we did.  It makes me sad that we weren’t able to do the same for Brienna, but I know she was there with us.  I know she felt all the love in that room and knows that in many ways, it was for her and the munchkin.  Like I said on Sunday, the last two years have been overwhelming at times but we are here today because of all the love and support you’ve given us.  So thank you.  I truly don’t know how we would have survived everything without all of you … hopefully this is the start of more good things to come.  It was fun to celebrate a happy occasion and it means so much to us to know that the munchkin is already so loved!  We are getting pretty excited to meet him/her!!

Thank you also to our moms and sisters for making the shower such a success.  I know they worked very hard to pull everything together pretty quickly, and we love them for it!!  It was a great day and so many little special touches were because of them.  We are so lucky to have them in our lives!

Conroy Girls

Marr Girls

I also want to say a very special thank you to my best friend Andrea who flew in from LA to celebrate with us.  We’ve been friends for a long time (the picture below is from 1983!) and I am beyond grateful to her for being there to celebrate … I can’t really express in words what it meant to me, but suffice it to say, it meant a lot!!

Laurie & Andrea 1983

I think Pat will be posting a poll soon so everyone can cast their vote on whether they think we’re having a Mr. Munchkin or a Miss Munchkin … it’s hard to believe there’s less than four weeks to go until we find out!

Munchkin Update

We had our 32 week ultrasound this week and our little munchkin is looking good if I do say so myself!  We hadn’t seen him/her in over 12 weeks, so we were very much looking forward to this ultrasound.  The munchkin is growing like a weed, weighing in at about 4 lbs 3 oz!  Brienna was only 4 lbs 14 oz when she was born, so it’s hard to believe they’re almost the same size already.  Pat was 9 lbs 8 oz when he was born, but my doctor assured us the munchkin won’t be that big, much to my relief! Here’s our favorite picture from the ultrasound: it’s his/her nose and lips but we have no idea where the Angelina Jolie lips came from!

Munchkin 32 weeks

We spent the weekend in Madison, WI protesting visiting my brother Tim and his family and getting some baby practice with their newest addition, Lena Teresa.  She’s just over 4 months old and we absolutely loved her!  Her smile makes you want to melt and despite our best efforts to take her home with us, Tim and Jenny insisted she stay with them.

pat and lena

Her big brothers Quinn and Reece are pretty darn cute too and we had a great visit.  We’re hoping to see them all again soon … hopefully sometime after April when they can meet their newest cousin.

Let the countdown begin!

Ghosts of Christmas Past

Two years ago today, I was sitting on the couch watching PS I Love You (not the wisest choice, given my emotional state) … the phone rang and it was my OB, telling me that our little Toot did in fact have Trisomy 18.  I was alone at the time and started crying.  I called Pat for him to come home from work, called my parents and then cried some more.  Poor Bailey didn’t know what to do.  She brought me all her toys, then eventually climbed on the couch with me and just snuggled.  I distinctly remember getting up and starting to clean the house, repeating to myself over and over “falling apart is not an option” … Pat came home, my parents came over to give us a hug and the beginning of my new life started to set in.  Denial, disbelief and waves of pure grief washed over me again and again and again.  It is hard to believe that that day was two years ago.  Looking back, I never imagined that I would survive; let alone come to love being pregnant and that I would fall in love with my baby girl despite a terminal diagnosis.  I also never imagined that the grief could get worse.  That the thought of losing my daughter was far less traumatic than actually holding her precious little self in my arms and then having to let her go …

As I sit here now, with Brienna’s little brother or sister growing inside me, I am sad, yet hopeful.  I miss my daughter so much.  I wish she were here to celebrate Christmas, to anticipate being a big sister.  I wish with all my heart that she didn’t have to be in Heaven.  Yet at the same time, without having lost her, I wouldn’t be who I am today.  I wouldn’t have learned what I’m made of.   I wouldn’t know that Pat and I have a marriage strong enough to handle the toughest of times.  I wouldn’t know that the love of your child is one of the most amazing loves in the entire world.

So Brienna, I have to thank you.  For giving me the best gift of all time.  For helping me realize what’s truly important in life and for shaping me into the person I am today.  I wish you were here, more than anything, but I know that you’re with me all the time.  That love truly is stronger than death and that someday, we’ll be together again.  Merry Christmas, baby girl … I love you and I miss you so much.

New Kid on the Block

As many of you know, Pat and I have officially moved back home!  We are very happy to be back!  It felt like a long eight months, but now that we’re settling in, it doesn’t seem so bad.  There really is no place like home.  We’re thinking we’ll have a big celebration party, but might wait until spring when the newest member of the Marr family is on scene:

20 week ultrasound

MiniMarr #2 (aka The Munchkin) is due April 20, 2011.  We are thrilled to be expanding our family and are anxiously awaiting his/her arrival!  We’ve opted to keep gender a surprise until the big day, so at this point, it’s anyone’s guess!

We dropped the ball on Christmas cards again this year, so Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!  Hopefully we’ll get to see many of you at some point during the holiday season … as always, THANK YOU for your constant love and support.  We are so fortunate to have such amazing families and friends.

All in a (Year’s) Work

Today is Pat’s birthday … while he would say otherwise, I think the past year has been pretty remarkable for him.  This time last year, he decided to make some changes.  And over the course of his thirtieth year, he lost 30 pounds, started exercising and yesterday, the day before turning 31, ran his first half marathon:

pat half marathon

I am so proud of him … not just for kicking a$$ in the half, but for making so many positive changes in his life.  He is a wonderful husband and father as well as my best friend. I love him so much and feel so fortunate to be married to him!  Happy Birthday Pat!!

P.S. A huge congrats to Liz too … she ran a most impressive personal best in the half yesterday too! (I’ve been battling a knee injury, so earned the medal, but only did the 7.3 miler!)

Trek to the Top

Pat has an annual conference for work that rotates throughout New England.  This year, NH hosted at the Mount Washington Hotel.  We took advantage of the great location and headed up a day early so we could hike Mount Washington.  We hiked the Tuckerman’s Ravine trail and made it to the top in just over three hours.  We lucked out and the weather was perfect: sunny and 65 at the base, sunny and 45 at the summit with almost no wind!  It was truly the perfect day.  The hike was challenging (to say the least) but so worth it.  We were quite proud of ourselves to reach the summit and made sure we had the picture to prove it:

We made it!

The views along the way were literally breathtaking.  It was both serene and beautiful and as usual, I was reminded of Brienna.  I always wonder whether or not she sees beauty like that all the time.  If that is what Heaven is like.  I like to think it is and that we were treated to a little part of her world.  I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that she has been gone more than fifteen months.  We miss her so much.  But seeing what she sees comforts me.  Being part of such beauty makes me feel closer to her and I think I’ll always seek out beautiful things for that very reason …

Tuckerman's

Headwall

Happy :)

How very softly you tiptoed into my world,
Almost silently, only for a moment you stayed.
But what an imprint your footsteps have left upon my heart.

Happy Birthday Bailey!

Bailey turns three years old today!  We love our “fur baby” and thought we’d post some pictures of her adventures this summer.

Bailey’s first nautical adventure, complete with PFD!

Captain Bailey

Excited to be at the beach!

Are we there yet??

Chillin’ at the beach …

lovin' the beach

Bailey gives us a reason to smile every day and reminds that there is always something to be happy about.  We love her so much and don’t know how we would have survived the last two-ish years without her goofiness!

DJJ

Three years ago today, the world lost one of the good guys.  My cousin Erin’s boyfriend Dan was killed in a tragic car accident.  We had just returned home from one of the best vacations of my life – a family reunion in Ireland – and his death shocked us all to our core.  Dan was more than Erin’s boyfriend.  He fit in our family as if he’d been there all along, and in Ireland, he asked my uncle Kevin for permission to marry Erin, which we were all ecstatic about!   He was just one of those people that lit up a room and I think of him all the time: anytime I drink a Guinness, see an F-150 or a guy wearing a bright orange shirt. I think of him when I see a guy talking excitedly about the Yankees or golf or when I see a big teddy bear of a guy laughing out loud.  Dan was always smiling and always laughing and left such a mark on me that it’s impossible not to think about him.

Ireland July 2007

There are different people in Heaven that I think take care of Brienna in different ways.  When I think of who she runs to if she’s needs a big bear hug, I think of Dan. When I think of who makes her laugh, I know it’s Dan. I know that they are up there together and it comforts me, while making me sad at the same time.  They should be here.

My cousin Erin is a strong lady … she has been such a source of strength and inspiration for me and she continues to amaze me every day.  I remember bewilderedly asking her how she survived every day.  Her grief, pain and suffering were just incomprehensible to me.  She told me that she realized she had to make a choice.  She could choose to live, or she could choose to be miserable.  So she chose to live.  When Brienna died, those words stuck with me, and I think about them every day as I get out of bed. It truly is a choice.  It would be so easy to be bitter and miserable (and there are those days) but the choice to live a life that makes them proud is more alluring.

I miss Dan.  I cry when I think about him not being here.  I cry for Erin, and for his parents, Brian and Kathy and his brother Tim and then I cry for Brienna too.  At some point though, I’m able to smile, because I know he’s keeping Brienna safe and they are watching over all of us; our guardian angels …

Erin and Dan

Miss you, DJJ.