Mother’s Day brings mixed emotions for me. I remember being petrified that no one would recognize that even though my baby was sick, I was in fact pregnant, about to be a mom and totally in love with my daughter. Pat framed several of his favorite pictures from our maternity photo shoot and gave them to me after I got home from work that Mother’s Day night in 2009. To this day, it is one the sweetest, most thoughtful gifts I’ve ever received. I was acknowledged as a mom, the one thing I wanted to be above all else, and it meant everything to me.
I remember hating that I didn’t have proof I was a mom. I was pregnant for 9+ months, gave birth, held my baby in my arms, loved my baby with my whole heart and yet she wasn’t here. The badge of honor I so desperately wanted was missing. The first time I walked around Target with Pete, I cried, because for years, I had dreamed of being able to do just that. As I watched with envy the other moms push their kids around, I hoped and prayed that someday, it would be me. As Pete gets older, trips to Target are by no means idyllic and yet, I still feel so lucky just to get to be there with him. I remember being that girl a few years ago and a wave of gratitude washes over me … I am his mother.
A mother’s love means an unbreakable bond. It means loving with everything you have, even at the risk of loss. It means loving despite crippling fear. And a mother’s love most certainly does not disappear in death. I am so proud to be Brienna and Pete’s mother. My Mother’s Day wish is to spend time at the cemetery, so I get to be with both of my kids. One in my heart forever, one who holds my hand. Both who changed me profoundly.
On a much brighter note, I also want to say Happy Mother’s Day to all of the moms we know and love! To Bana and Nana especially … we love you so much and are so grateful for your constant love, support, guidance and inspiration. I have had amazing examples of what it truly means to be a mom. Thank you.
Laurie, I love you with my entire heart. I am blessed to be your mother and Brienna & Pete’s grandmother.
You truly know what it means to be a mother and to love with a mother’s heart.
Thank you for a very beautiful and moving post.
Pete and Brienna are very lucky to have you as their mother!
Beautiful post Lau…. You are such a fantastic mother… I am lucky to have you not only in my life, but MY children’s lives.
Beautiful. Love you Laus!
Your posts are so moving Laurie…this one especially touches my heart. You are the best possible mother to both of your beautiful children, and I am so blessed to have you in my life.
Beautiful.
L.O.V.E.
Laurie, You’re an amazing mom to 2 beautiful children who have brought so much love into our lives. Thank you for sharing so deeply. There are times in life when it seems we’re so vulnerable we could break, and we don’t realize how strong we really are…thanks to a mother’s love.
Laurie, such a beautiful post. You are such an amazing mommy and have taught new mom’s, like me, SO much! Brienna and Pete are so lucky to have you! XOXO
The French writer Antoine de St.-Exupery put it best: “One must be willing to risk tears if one is willing to love.” Life is that beautiful risk.
This is beautiful Laur! You are such a wonderful mama! Miss you!
This is such a beautiful post. Thanks you for finding the ideal words to describe this indescribable experience